Instant Attitudes T-Shirts


Click on any image for more details about the shirt. The illustrations are not all to the same scale.

Most of our shirts are available in sizes S,M,L,XL,XXL, XXXL, XXXXL and XXXXXL. (Yes, there are five Xs in that size. A few are in stock in 6X as well.) Some can also be had on trim-fitting ladies' cut shirts; those are generally noted on the individual shirt pages. Black shirts in sizes XL, XXL and XXXL can also be had in Tall lengths for an additional $3; email us if you want one of those, as they are a special-order item. Sorry, no "kid size" shirts. Unless otherwise indicated, the price (before shipping charges) is $19 for sizes S through XL, $21 for XXL, $22 for XXXL, $23 for 4X, $24 for 5X, and $26 for 6X.


Captain Bastard

TSHIRT-113

Why yes, Captain, ...
I don't judge...

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I don't judge people by their race, religion, color, size, age, gender, or ethnicity. I judge them by their grammar, spelling, syntax, punctuation, clarity of expression, and logical consistency.
Theme music

TSHIRT-122

I do not have voices in my head. I have theme music.
A mind needs books

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A mind needs books like a knife needs a whetstone, to maintain its edge.
Nine planets

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In my day, we had NINE planets, and they all orbited UPHILL, BOTH WAYS, in the DARK!
bass fishing

TSHIRT-121

Bass fishing - reinterpreted.
Comic Sans

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Comic Sans
(in Papyrus, of course.)
autoparanoid

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Do autoparanoid agnostic dyslexic insomniacs with dissociative identity disorder lie awake at night wondering if they might be the dog that's out to get them?
Soft tribble

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Soft tribble, warm tribble, ...
Soft tribble - v2

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Soft tribble, warm tribble...
(version two)
Instant Zombie - Just add morning

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Instant Zombie
Just add morning
Never drink and derive
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Alcohol and calculus don't mix.
Keep calm and Wear a Fez

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Keep Calm and Wear a Fez
Theory.  You keep using that word.  I do not think it means what you think it means.

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Theory. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Bomb Tech

TSHIRT-094

BOMB TECHNICIAN
IF YOU SEE ME RUNNING, TRY TO KEEP UP
Chaos

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All around me, I see nothing but Chaos, Panic and Disorder. At last, my work here is done!
This is not a drill

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THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Rhe sheep are lying!

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The sheep are lying!
Crivens!

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Crivens!
The sheep ur leein!

TSHIRT-125

I didnae dae it!
Ye cannae prove it!
Naebody seed me!
The sheep ur leein!
Classic Red Shirt

TSHIRT-096

Classic Red Shirt
You know what happens when you wear the Red Shirt...
I think, therefore I am dangerous.

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I think, therefore I am dangerous
Knowledge is Power

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Knowledge is Power
Steampunk means never having to ask “is this period?”

TSHIRT-108

Steampunk means never having to ask “is this period?”
Jefferson quote

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Thomas Jefferson on God and reason.
Asks inconvenient questions.

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Asks inconvenient questions.
belief is no substitute for knowledge

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Belief is no substitute for knowledge.
got science?

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got science?
Post it on YouTube

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What is best in life?
To crush your enemies,
to see them driven before you,
to hear the lamentation of their women,
and post the video on YouTube!
Have you seen my time machine?

TSHIRT-079

Dark-color shirt with humorous non-controversial slogan
I never cheat

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I never Cheat.
Cheating would be wrong.
However...
Not a morning person does not even <i>begin</i> to describe it.
TSHIRT-090

"Not a morning person" does not even begin to describe it.
You don't need to look at my chest...

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Our version of the obvious use of a certain Jedi mind trick.
A crude pick-up line...in calculus

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No, this expression does not evaluate to 42.
(That one is below.)
Integral fun

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In math, the fun is integral.
The Answer

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The Answer to the Great Question
Server

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I have not lost my mind...
Decaf

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I will not brew decaf.
Beer Top 10

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Top 10 reasons why Beer is better than Religion.
I found your ring
TSHIRT-067

If you can read this,
I found your ring.
Tardis Express
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Tardis Express
Harkness
TSHIRT-064

Captain Jack Never Slept Here.
Beware of Forklift Driver Klaus

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Bitte nageln Sie nicht Mitarbeiter mit Gabelstapler fest.
(Please do not impale your co-worker with your forklift blade.)
Some days, it's just not worth gnawing through the straps.

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Some days, it's just not worth gnawing through the straps.
Have you seen my time machine?

TSHIRT-076

Have you seen my time machine?
Steampunk

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Steampunk
Think of it as Goth for Geeks
The cake is a pie

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The cake is a pie.
Dungeon is filled with trap!

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Warning - Dungeon is filled with trap!
No e-books

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Top 10 Reasons Not To Buy E-books
Think!  It's not illegal... yet.

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Think!
It's not illegal... yet.
GMs do kill characters.
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GMs don't kill characters...
Radical Militant Librarians
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Guild of Radical Militant Librarians
Vocabulary

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WARNING - I have a vocabulary in excess of 75,000 words, and I'm not afraid to use it!
This Way Up

TSHIRT-011

A popular symbol.
Just put down the coffee

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"Just put down the coffee and slowly back away."
Eyes

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Okay, guys, let's compromise. Now can you look me in the eyes?
Aphrodisiac

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Intelligence is the ultimate aphrodisiac
PsychopathT
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I am getting so tired of slitting the throats of people who say I'm a violent psychopath.
Rapture tour

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Rapture Tour
The Second Coming's Premier Event
Over 1900 years of Coming Soon - and counting.
Gamer

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Gaming, for some, IS a life.
Franklin

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Ben Franklin's admonition about giving up essential liberty in exchange for temporary safety.
Ways

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The ways are many, the Light is one!
One of them

TSHIRT-031

A brief explanation of what most Pagans are and aren't.
One quark

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Particle Physics meets Dr Seuss.
Dragons Rescued

TSHIRT-034

Dragons Rescued...
Dark Side

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Come to the Dark Side...
filkers

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Do Not Meddle in the Affairs of Filkers...
Pillage first

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Always remember
  • Pillage first
  • Then burn
D20 naturals

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Yes, they're natural
Maxwell

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Maxwell's equations.
Splat!
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Splat! pass me another character sheet and some better dice.
It's true.
TSHIRT-049

Everything you've heard about Game Masters is true.
Those who Dance
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Those who Dance are thought Mad by Those who Hear Not the Music.
Proofread
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Always proofread. You might have something out.
Happy Fun Goddess

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Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Goddess
Loki Speaks
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That voice in your head? It was me. --Loki
Live Ethically
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Live Ethically no matter what others may do
Library Rules
TSHIRT-066

Rules of the Library

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